Aloneness


Aloneness

 

by José Micard Teixeira

 

 

There are times when I just want to be alone. I have no patience for pointless conversations or any conversation about other people’s lives. I’m tired of hearing about politics, football or the weather. Newspapers sound to me like cheap propaganda and TV looks like a world created to elude or make me feel guilty for everything I could do but don’t. I have no interest in smiling when I don’t feel like it, to be empathic when I’m sad, to drive the car when I want to lay on the beach sand, to talk when I feel better in silence, to fix problems when I just want to forget them. I know that sometimes it may not be the best way, but when I want to be alone, I have some difficulties in not attending this wish of mine. You may call me selfish, but on those days I don’t care if I’m going to upset someone. I deserve my solitude. I have the right to be with myself and no one else. During those times, I just want to live one day at a time, without adding or taking anything from it, without asking or demanding a thing, giving all my time to the one person that deserves it the most.